Have you ever had a rival? In my 20’s I had one. In my mind, I was constantly competing with her to dress better, look better, succeed more. And constantly wondering if I was falling short. I came to a revelation recently. She was never my rival. The competition was an illusion. I was using her as an actor, an antagonist, a character for the negative dialogue I had streaming 24/7 in my head. It wasn’t she who made me feel inferior, I was doing it to myself. “The antagonist” was making me feel how I thought I deserved to feel. The antagonist was my own ego. (Wait, did I just describe the plot from “Fight Club”?)
Fast forward, new city, new life, but I still find myself letting my mind drift to the negative space (I am not enough). There are so many things that can happen in life that can make someone feel unworthy. I am sure we all have our stories. It is a constant battle. I am on a mission to internalize love and compassion, and stop elevating my own self doubt. One of my tools is “ The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. These agreements might seem obvious, but during difficult times, it provides simple clarity. I created this cheat sheet for my planner and you can download it here.
Peace & Salam